Korean girl still to be cared for by family of rapists

Here's the story in its entirety from The Korea Times, the only English-language, non-blogger source I could find for it:

Court Ruling on Rapists Draws Anger

By Kim Rahn
Staff Reporter

A court handed down suspended jail terms to four family members who repeatedly raped a teenage relative who suffered from an intellectual disability.

The Cheongju District Court Thursday sentenced an 87-year-old grandfather and two uncles of a 16-year-old girl to four-year suspended prison terms for sexually assaulting and raping the girl for the last seven years. Another uncle received a three-year suspended jail term.

The court acknowledged that their crime was ``sinful'' as they used the young girl, who is their family member, to satisfy their sexual desires. But it gave the suspended terms, saying, ``The accused have fostered the girl in her parents' place. Considering her disability, she will also need their care and help in living in the future.''

The court added it took the accused people's old age and illness into consideration.

Citizens strongly denounced the ruling, saying the punishments were too lenient for the grave crime. Internet users said it is absurd to release them to ``take care of her,'' as she needs help from others, not from rapists. They also said those committing such a crime do not deserve consideration regarding old age or illnesses.

Some bloggers are collecting signatures to oust the judge who made the ruling. The prosecution also decided to appeal. ``One of them even has a previous conviction for rape but was given a suspended term. The ruling is unacceptable,'' a prosecutor said.

English-language bloggers in South Korea have been passing this story around for a week now, mostly discussing their outrage at how bad the Korean justice system is at punishing sexual assault. This is juxtaposed against another news story of Korean prosecutors demanding a famous actress be jailed for 18 months for adultery, though bloggers are focusing little on the disability aspect and more on the sexual politics of the Korean judicial system and Korean culture. Disability, in the English-language analyses of this news, is mostly invisible. It's not clear to me how it rates in importance among Korean citizens.

h/t Feministing

Action Alert -- Update on Ray Sandford's forced electroshock "therapy"

Image description: A color photo taken by a concerned citizen who visited Ray Sandford after hearing about his forced electroshock treatments. Ray is a 54-year-old white guy with wire-rimmed glasses and a neatly-trimmed, graying beard. He's wearing a blue knit earwarmer headband.

According to MindFreedom International, the source of my post last week on involuntary outpatient electroshock in Minnesota, Ray Sandford's doctor has decided to "skip" a week of the torture. Here's the full update, posted as offered at MindFreedom International:

Ray Alert #3 - 16 November 2008

First the good news.

Within days of MindFreedom launching its Ray Campaign on 7 November 2008 to stop the weekly involuntary outpatient electroshock of Ray Sandford, his doctor has decided to "skip a Wednesday."

Ray says that this coming Wednesday, 19 November 2008, for the first time in months, Ray will not be escorted against his will, under court order, from his Minnesota home out in the community to his 34th involuntary outpatient electroshock.

So there's a reprieve for Ray.

For one week.

The bad news is that Ray's doctor said Ray's forced outpatient electroshocks will resume on Wednesday, 26 November 2008, the day before the USA holiday of Thanksgiving.

Ray said his involuntary shock will then continue every other week.

We don't know if the one-week reprieve is because of the MindFreedom campaign, but we know MindFreedom News readers are having an impact.

Since the MindFreedom first alert went out nine days ago, on 7 November 2008:

• Many people from all over the world have e-mailed and phoned the offices of the Governor of Minnesota, along with social service agencies, media, and the hospital where Ray receives his electroshock against his expressed wishes.
  
• For the first time, thousands of people are now aware of the existence of IOE -- Involuntary Outpatient Electroshock.
  
• A few national and local media are now actively investigating.
  
• Several advocacy agencies and human rights organizations are expressing concern and getting involved.
  
• Several volunteer attorneys are now in touch to provide assistance.
  
• Volunteers are visiting Ray and sending him their support, and Ray tells us he is grateful. One volunteer took the photo of Ray shown here.
• MindFreedom's "Zapback" e-mail list is coordinating the campaign.
• A disability professor and her class of students have called up Ray and are taking on his campaign as a project.
• And more.
  

Thank you, everyone.

Keep up the pressure and the support!

First, keep phoning and e-mailing, especially if you have not so far. Show there is national and international concern!

Here are the links to the original two MindFreedom alerts, which have information about how to e-mail and phone the Governor of Minnesota, and how to write or visit Ray:

7 Nov: Alert #1
http://www.mindfreedom.org/shield/ray-sandford

12 Nov: Alert #2 - Governor Phone-In Campaign
http://www.mindfreedom.org/shield/pawlenty-electroshock

Second, help MindFreedom answer the main mystery.

Despite all this public interest the question remains, "What is Governor Pawlenty's position on Minnesota laws allowing involuntary outpatient electroshock?

Is this Governor, who campaigns for "limited government," for such laws or against them?

Unfortunately, the Governor's office has not responded to any of the many e-mails or phone calls requesting his policy position. The Governor's office is immediately forwarding citizen inquiries to a voice mail, and then not replying to the voice mail.

We need media to ask the Governor for us. Please forward this alert to all media, small and large, from newspapers to bloggers.

Media can direct questions to:

Brian McClung

Director of Communications for Minnesota's Governor

phone: (651) 296-0001.

Media ought to ask, "What is Governor Pawlenty's position on Minnesota laws allowing involuntary outpatient electroshock?"

Sometimes the Governor's office is re-directing calls to the Minnesota Department of Human Rights. At first that sounds good. But this office says it is only focused on determining whether narrow discrimination complaints are legally valid. A spokesperson said this department makes no statements about policy.

This Minnesota agency said they are planning a major one-day human rights conference and forum on 5 December. One barrier is the "forum" costs $200.

For information on this Minn. Dept. of Human Rights, and their "forum," click here:

http://www.mindfreedom.org/shield/ray/minnesota-human-rights-conference

You can also keep up with some of the latest developments about the Ray Campaign on the MindFreedom blog by MindFreedom director David Oaks, here:

http://www.mindfreedom.org/mfi-blog

Disclaimer: Because the State of Minnesota won't reply, portions of these alerts are based on Ray's personal statements. By Ray's own admission, he now has severe memory problems. Therefore, journalists and others may want to find a second source to confirm accuracy.

*****

And a suggestion from me:

After you call or email the State of Minnesota (numbers provided by MFI):

From anywhere in the world phone (651) 296-3391.

From inside Minnesota phone toll free: (800) 657-3717.

You can leave a message at any time. You can reach staff any non-holiday weekday from 8:00 am to 4:30 pm Central Time.

Call any day, but especially call on Wednesdays.

Add Ray Sandford to your holiday card list:

Ray is open to visitors and supportive postal mail:

Ray Sandford
Victory House
4427 Monroe St.
Columbia Heights, MN 55421-2880 USA

Forced electroshock in Minnesota

I've copied the following in its entirety from The Trouble with Spikol:

URGENT: Forced Electroshock

MindFreedom International — 7 November 2008
Human Rights Alert: Involuntary Electroshock

by David W. Oaks, Director, MindFreedom International

The past Wednesday morning after the historic USA election what were you doing?

I know what Ray Sandford, 54, was doing.

Each and every Wednesday, early in the morning, staff shows up at Ray’s sheltered living home called Victory House in Columbia Heights, Minnesota, adjacent to Minneapolis.

Staff escorts Ray the 15 miles to Mercy Hospital. There, Ray is given another of his weekly electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) treatments, also known as electroshock. All against his will. On an outpatient basis.

And it’s been going on for months.

Ray says the weekly forced electroshocks are “scary as hell.” He absolutely opposes having the procedure. He says it’s causing poor memory for names such as of friends and his favorite niece. “What am I supposed to do, run away?” Instead, Ray phoned his local library’s reference desk to ask about human rights groups, and the librarian referred him to MindFreedom International.

Ray called me at our office here at MindFreedom International about two weeks ago. At first I wasn’t sure I believed him.

Of course, MindFreedom International has documented proven cases of electroshock against the expressed wishes of the subject all over the world, including in the USA. MindFreedom succeeded in having the United Nations World Health Organization call in writing for a global ban on all involuntary electroshock.

But this is the first time I’ve been on the phone with someone getting court-ordered forced shock while living out in the community, on an outpatient basis.

This is the ultimate double whammy. I confirmed Ray’s story by calling two staff at Victory House as well as his court-appointed conservator, Tonya Wilhelm of Luthern Support Services of Minnesota.

Ms. Wilhelm said, “We are following the letter of the law.” She said the State of Minnesota had secured a variety of court orders that require Ray to have forced electroshock against his expressed wishes. Ms. Wilehlm says it’s all legal and she can’t do anything about it.

Krista Erickson, chair of MindFreedom’s Shield Campaign, sees it differently. “This is terrible. This is a serious human rights violation that should stop. I hope MindFreedom members and supporters speak out. Even if Minnesota is following the letter of the current law, the law ought to be changed. And Ray has not had the legal power to appeal to higher courts.”

I pointed out to Conservator Wilhelm that the public — when they find out about forced electroshock — is passionately opposed to their taxpayer money being used to force such brutality on citizens. Ms. Wilhelm did let slip that what is happening to Ray — involuntary outpatient electroshock — is not that uncommon in Minnesota.

But when Ms. Wilhelm found out we at MindFreedom are issuing one of our public human rights alert to you and others, at Ray’s repeated request, she said something chilling.

Ms. Wilhelm claimed she had a legal right to stop MindFreedom! Ms. Wilhelm told me, “Only I can give you permission legally to say anything publicly about this.”

I pointed out we are not a medical facility, and that if she falsely claims we’re doing anything illegal then this is defamation. Which really is illegal. Ms. Wilhelm laughed loudly in the phone, said “let our lawyers talk,” and hung up on me. I hope she hung up to read the First Amendment.

Let’s disobey Ms. Wilhelm!

Spread Ray’s alert far and wide! Speak out against this electrical torture, now!

Because… Remember… While the world marvels at the power of USA democracy:

If it’s Wednesday morning, then Ray Sandford is being led from his home — which is supposed to be his castle — to get another weekly forced procedure that can cause brain damage and wipe out memories.

Want to do something? Follow the jump.

Mind your freedom. Disobey Ray’s conservator now!

Forward this alert to all appropriate places on and off the Internet, IMMEDIATELY!

And take the *below* actions. Thank you. Ray and I are counting on you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

* * * ACTION * * * ACTION * * * ACTION * * *

You can do this in a moment. It’s free! DO IT NOW!

E-mail your firm but polite message to Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty.

SAMPLE MESSAGE — your own words are best:

“Investigate the weekly involuntary outpatient electroshock of Ray Sandford. Every Wednesday morning, MindFreedom says Ray is brought from Victory House in Columbia Heights, Minnesota to Mercy Hospital for forced electroshock. Stop all forced electroshock today! Taxpayer money should not fund torture!” [Your name/contact.]

E-mail address: tim.pawlenty@state.mn.us

Or use this handy web form

~~~~~~~~~~~~

* * * ADDITIONAL ACTIONS TO SUPPORT RAY! * * *

1) E-mail a complaint to Luthern Social Services of Minnesota (LSSMN) about Ray’s conservator.

Sample message:

“Investigate allegations that LSSMN employee Tonya Wilhelm tried to stop a public human rights alert by MindFreedom International about her client, Ray Sandford, who is receiving weekly outpatient involuntary electroshock at Mercy Hospital in Minneapolis. If verified, please reprimand, fire and replace Ms. Wilhelm, and please place this in her permanent personnel record. Please support human
rights.” [Your name/contact.]

Use LSSMN’s web page

Or phone Luthern Social Services at: (218) 726-4888

You can copy your message to headquarters of The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA):

info@elca.org

From ELCA’s web site about their church: “It’s a story of a powerful and patient God who has boundless love for all people of the world, who brings justice for the oppressed.”

More right here

2) E-mail a complaint to Allina Hospital and Clinics, owner of Mercy Hospital.

Sample message:

“Investigate allegations that your patient Ray Sandford of Victory House is receiving involuntary outpatient electroconvulsive therapy against his will each Wednesday at Mercy Hospital.”

Use this web page

Or phone: (763) 236-6000

3) Ray is open to visitors and supportive postal mail:

Ray Sandford
Victory House
4427 Monroe St.
Columbia Heights, MN 55421-2880 USA

MindFreedom will print out and mail to Ray some of your e-mail messages to the Governor and others, and put some on the web. E-mail a copy of what you write to news@mindfreedom.org.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND ONE MORE THING!

Say “no” to mental health system censorship!

Disobey Ray’s conservator now!

PLEASE forward this public human alert to all appropriate places on and off the Internet, IMMEDIATELY! Thank you!

The Russian

On my first night at the rehab hospital, I was about as vulnerable as a person can be. I'd been in the ICU at a different hospital for a month. I had a new tracheostomy and was using it to breathe with a ventilator -- a new and frightening experience for me. I also had a new feeding tube, a PICC line, a catheter for urinating, and I'd barely been out of bed for that whole month.

I was weak and unable to speak. I communicated by writing on paper, which required the absolute cooperation of whomever I was communicating with. Basically, they had to consent to let me "speak" by handing me paper and pen, then waiting for me to write my message. (BTW, this procedure is the reason I am kinder to spelling errors -- my own and everyone else's. Spelling used to be a pet peeve. Ah, the luxury.)

Leaving the ICU, I chose between two rehab hospitals that I knew nothing about. My parents visited each and each sent representatives to meet me, "assess" me and lobby hard for me to choose their institution. I made a wild guess, choosing the hospital farthest from my home and requiring almost an hour's more commute each way for my parents as they came to see me most every day for the next three months.

It was the right choice. I ended up at place filled with amazing, dedicated people. But that first night was terrifying. And not just because of my own uncertainties.

I've got a knobby little tailbone that sticks out. I've never ever had a pressure ulcer (also called a "bedsore" or decubitus ulcer) anywhere on my body, including my tailbone, in part because I've spent quite a bit of time lobbying on it's behalf every time I put my body into strangers' hands, lay on a hard x-ray table, or require other people's assistance in keeping it healthy. For my four months in the ICU and rehab that meant an inflatable mattress on my hospital bed and frequent repositioning.

Sometime during my first night at the rehab hospital, I woke up needing help to roll over, a rather complicated process when I was so weak and had so very many tubes to avoid yanking. I rang the bell for help and a nurses' assistant showed up. I forget her name, but she had an accent so I'll call her "The Russian" as I did at the time to family and friends.

She understood I needed to be repositioned and she told me she needed to go get another person to help. It is commonly a two-person job in acute care settings and may even be required procedure, but when she didn't return and my butt began to ache badly from laying in one position too long, I rang the bell again.

The Russian returned alone to tell me she was trying to get help, then left again. I don't know exactly how much time passed, though it was easily 30 minutes since my first call for assistance, and it may have been as long as an hour. My butt was throbbing painfully now, sparks of nerve pain shooting down my leg. In desperation, I spent significant energy wrestling the pillow wedged behind my back away enough that I could shift slightly and ease the sharpest of pain to buy some time.

Shortly after, The Russian returned. Again alone. She saw the pillow had been moved and began berating me: "Why you bother me? You don't need help! You did this yourself after bothering me? If I catch you ever moving by yourself again don't expect me to do anything for you!"

I had no opportunity to tell her what I was thinking: "You will too frakking help me! That's your job! $ & % #*&!"

In order to reply, she would have had to agree to handing me my paper and pen, and she either didn't understand that's what I wanted or she purposely refused. It was a long fearful first night after that, not knowing if help would come if I needed it (for repositioning or breathing or whatever), and for the next many nights until I learned that her behavior was not typical of the institution or people working there.

In the morning when my parents arrived, I told them all about The Russian, writing the incident out for them in detail. I didn't take it further than that and neither did my parents.

Why? Because I didn't yet know if she ran the night shift, if others held her view and I was stuck somewhere where being the squeaky wheel might further endanger me. Because I was immersed in trying to get my primary doctor to hand me the paper and pen instead of telling me about my care and walking out the door. Because the speech therapy folks were busy giving me cognitive tests and asking things like if I knew where the window in the room was. Because in addition to my serious health issues I had one giant communication problem with getting people to treat me as an aware, active participant in my own recovery. Because the principle and all-consuming job in being an inmate in any institution is self-defense, just keeping well-meaning professionals from accidentally making you sicker.

My parents were equally immersed and could certainly have reported the incident, but when the abuse didn't recur, we all ended up focusing on the next most emergent issue. And there were dozens of them.

Was The Russian just having a bad night? Maybe. But I think she was hazing me. Three long months later, on the night before I came home, she stepped into my room to tell me what a pleasure of a patient I'd been. "No trouble." Compliant, she meant, of course. Less needy than other folks. There hadn't been a night for those whole three months that I hadn't been acutely aware of whether or not she was on duty.

The most disturbing part of this story is that I didn't tell her supervisors, right? I was conscious, had by wits about me (more-or-less), had caring family visiting daily, and knew at the time it happened that she was being abusive of her power over me. But this is how institutional abuse starts, why there is space for it to lurk even at excellent institutions. I was busy surviving and her behavior was only one of the many scary things I was subject to.

What would have happened if I had told her supervisors? Would I have been believed? Would I still have been subject to her care after essentially threatening her job? Were there a dozen other employees like her I just hadn't met yet who would hear I was "troublesome"?

What if I hadn't had any visitors to tell, providing, as my parents did, psychological assurance that further abuse could be responded to? What if I had been unable to communicate any of this to anyone, as was true for many of the people in rooms adjacent to mine?

Abuse doesn't really need much space to thrive, and it needs even less to occur only once. Probably not everyone would consider this abuse. But it was a verbal threat to deny me assistance while lying helpless in a bed from someone charged to show up if, say, my ventilator quit giving me air. Like any sort of intimate violence (domestic violence, date rape, etc.), violence against disabled people is contextual and opportunistic and can happen to anyone.

Latimer paroled

Through the appeals process, the decision to deny Robert Latimer parole has been overturned:

After seven years in prison for killing his severely disabled daughter, Robert Latimer will be freed on day parole this week.

The appeal division of the National Parole Board this afternoon overturned a parole board decision last December that rejected Mr. Latimer's bid for parole.

The appeal division, following a month-long review, concluded Mr. Latimer does not in fact pose an undue risk to reoffend.

....

In its decision in December, a three-member panel of the parole board concluded: “You could not or would not describe the feelings or thoughts underlying your actions at the time of the offence.... You appear satisfied with the position that you and only you were able to determine her life or death, describing such decisions as beyond the law.”

The appeal division, however, found that although Mr. Latimer was at times unfocussed, he was not unwilling to answer their questions.

“The Appeal Division finds that the Board's determinations in this regard are unreasonable and unsupported. Your responses at the hearing reveal that you did in fact demonstrate insight and were able to explain why you decided to end the life of your daughter.

The appeal division has applied two conditions to his parole: Mr. Latimer cannot have responsibility for, or make decisions for, any individuals who are severely disabled.

See previous post on Latimer here.

Cross-posted at Alas, A Blog

Phoning It In

Last month, the state of Massachusetts issued a report on an August 2007 incident at one of the group homes of the Judge Rotenberg Center (JRC) where, on the basis of a phonecall, two boys were awakened in the night and repeatedly given electric shocks by the adults responsible for their care. If you're not already familiar with the JRC in Massachusetts or the aversive therapy used there on institutionalized disabled children, Mother Jones provides details in an article published this past September.

Eight states pay up to $200,000 per student, per year, to send otherwise "unplaceable" children with autism, psychological and behavioral disorders to the residential institution that uses aversive therapy to control many of its young inmates. Very generally, aversive therapy involves the use of a wide range of unpleasant stimuli to discourage specific behaviors. At JRC, aversives include electric shocks, food deprivation and isolation. On children.

The phonecall that led to the nighttime torture of the two boys turned out to be a prank. From the Boston Globe:

The report says none of the six staff members in a Stoughton residence run by the Judge Rotenberg Educational Center on the night of Aug. 26 acted to stop the harrowing events for three hours, despite ample reasons to doubt the validity of the caller's instructions to wake the boys in the middle of the night and administer painful shock treatments, at times while their arms and legs were bound.

The caller said he was ordering the punishments because the teenagers had misbehaved earlier in the evening, but none of the home's staff had witnessed the behavior that the caller cited. As the two boys' screams could be heard throughout the house, near-mutiny erupted among the other boys, who insisted that the accused teenagers had violated no rules. One boy even suggested the call was a hoax, according to the report by the Massachusetts Department of Early Education and Care, which licenses group homes.

The staffers, inexperienced and overworked, were described as concerned and reluctant, yet nobody verified the orders with central office, nor did anybody check treatment plans for the two teenagers to be sure they were permitted to receive that degree of shock therapy.

The damage was done before the staff at the JRC realized their "error":

By the time a call was finally placed to the central office and staff members realized their mistake, one teenager had received 77 shocks, well in excess of what his treatment plan allowed, and the other received 29. One boy was taken to the hospital for treatment of two first-degree burns.

The full account described by the Boston Globe is harrowing and beyond awful. The result of the state report is the suspension of seven JRC employees. But what I find telling is that because of the state investigation the following changes are supposedly being implemented at the JRC:

• Expanded training for staff -- Many of the suspended employees had been working at the JRC for less than three months at the time of the August incident. High employee turnover is also suggested by Google search of the center, which pops up numerous ads for employment.
• Institution of new telephone verification procedures -- Electric shock orders via telephone will continue to be part of the official procedure of aversive therapy, as is the incredibly extensive video surveillance of every moment of inmates' lives.
• Elimination of delayed punishment -- On its own, prior to this incident, awakening inmates through administration of electric shock was not a violation of procedure? Children were routinely hooked up to shock equipment even while they tried to sleep, apparently.
  

Supporters of JRC and its aversive therapy say it effectively changes behavior. Of course it does. Extended torture with no end in sight tends to do that. One of the axioms of torture is that anyone can be broken, given time and cruel enough methods. There are some inmates of JRC receiving electric shock that have been there for decades.

This post is part of a Blogging Against Aversives event. You can find links to writing from other bloggers on the topic here. Or check out Amanda Baggs' extensive and well-indexed writing on aversives, behavior modification, JRC, and other related topics at Ballastexistenz. This post of Amanda's is especially informative. Feel free to add links of other writings on this in comments.

Cross-posted at Alas, A Blog

Robert Latimer denied parole

Yesterday, a Canadian parole board in a prison near Victoria denied day parole to Robert Latimer. Latimer is the Saskatchewan farmer serving a life sentence for the second-degree murder of his 12-year-old disabled daughter back in 1993.

Some facts: Tracy Latimer acquired cerebral palsy from oxygen deprivation at birth. She was unable to walk or talk and had seizures every day, but she could smile, laugh and cry. She went to school each day on a bus, she could communicate likes and dislikes. She recognized the people she loved. Tracy had several surgeries and was scheduled for a fourth on the day of her death. (The back surgery she had to correct scoliosis and the complication afterward of a steel bar migrating in her hip sound identical to my own Harrington rod surgery experiences.)

On October 24, 1993, Robert Latimer placed his daughter, Tracy, in the cab of his pickup truck, connected a hose to the exhaust, ran the hose in the vehicle's window and gassed his daughter to death. He hid the evidence and lied about her death until an autopsy revealed foul play. Then he confessed.

But he has never expressed remorse, which is why he was denied parole:

The parole board decided the 54-year-old Saskatchewan farmer had not developed any insight into his crime. Latimer insisted during his parole hearing Wednesday that killing Tracy was the right thing to do.

He remained unapologetic and angry at the legal system.

"The laws are not as important as Tracy was," he said.

"I still feel don't feel guilty because I still feel it was the best thing to do."

While there's always been a frightening and enraging degree of support for Latimer's actions (which, interestingly, played out while Susan Smith was simultaneously being castigated for the murder of her nondisabled children in the U.S.), much of the fervor has been about the mandatory sentencing that required him to serve at least ten years in prison. The Canadian Supreme Court overturned a lighter sentence that failed to follow sentencing guidelines. He's currently spent seven years in jail.

In an appeal to his conviction, Latimer contended that he "had the legal right to decide to commit suicide for his daughter by virtue of her complete lack of physical and intellectual abilities."

Grant Mitchell, a lawyer representing disability groups in relation to the case, said yesterday:

"I think it's really sad that he's still maintaining that he committed no crime ... that killing a member of his family was a private matter that the public had no business getting involved in. And I think it's particularly concerning that when he was asked by the Parole Board whether he would do the same thing if another member of his family were in distress, he said he wasn't sure what he would do."

I agree with Mitchell. More importantly, I agree with the guilty verdict that holds Latimer accountable for murdering his daughter. I am less certain how much time in prison is appropriate, but since Latimer reportedly wished to use his day parole to spend time furthering the cause of euthanasia, I'm content that he remains in jail.

Cross-posted at Alas, A Blog

Mail with Mom

Recently, MissCripChick wrote a blog letter to her Mom and Amanda of Ballastexistenz received an email from hers.

MissCripChick writes, in part:

please do not take this as sarcasm, but i just wanted to take a moment and let you know how much i appreciate the fact that you haven’t tried to murder me, drug me, take me off my ventilator, withhold food, lock me in the garage, abuse me, harvest my organs, or rip my utereus [girl parts] out over the years.

And, lest her thanks be seen as unnecessary, Amanda describes the email her Mom really did send to her:

My mother wrote to me a few weeks ago to make sure I knew that she had never, ever, once, thought of killing me.

It was one of those surreal moments where I sat there and thought, “If I were non-autistic, non-disabled, I doubt she’d have felt the need to reassure me of something that should have been a given. And I think a non-disabled person would have been puzzled to get such a message out of the blue. I wish I was more puzzled as to why.”

The above letters are one response to the belief that the murders and resulting media coverage of disabled children are isolated, tragic events rather than an epidemic of prejudice and devaluation. They illustrate the effect the murders of Katie McCarron and Lexus Fuller and Tracy Latimer and Ulysses Stable and Christopher DeGroot and so many other children have on all families with disabled children.

As Amanda says:

What on earth kind of message makes parents believe they actually have to reassure their own children that really, seriously, they never even once considered killing us, and that really, seriously, we were wanted?

I can only guess it’s some toxic mix of the constant stream of murders and the messages that the press and various autism charities send out about the supposed frequency and normalcy of such thoughts. This isn’t support. Anything that makes my parents, and doubtless others, question such fundamental things about their relationship to their own children, and seriously believe I might think they’d had these thoughts, is not in any way support.