The Chunky Bastard Monster Step and other good times

One of the difficulties with having a mobility impairment is that even inquiring about accessibility from nondisabled people who truly wish to be helpful often fails to provide any useful information. Or it results in misleading information that further complicates a journey, short or long. A direct inquiry as to whether there are steps, for example, proves to be a meaningless exercise if an unobservant nondisabled person is never bothered enough by their existence to note they are there. I've called ahead to businesses where the person on the phone swears the place is completely wheelchair-friendly, only to arrive and find three steps leading into the ballroom or restaurant and no alternate way inside.

The helpful phone person, when informed, will say something promising like, "Oh. Hmmm."

Or possibly, "Well, we don't get many handicapped people in here."

Agent Fang's excellent blog, Fangworld, describes some recent travel adventures armed only with her wheelchair and wit. It all begins promisingly enough, as it often does:

I started looking at the really big hotels. Got one with a car park attached. Good start. Rang up, had a little chat about access. This is the time to judge whether you are really welcome, or will terrify the staff, who have likely never seen human/wheel combinations before (or will at least act like it). Staff were nice. Asked for suite with handrails and wheelchair access. There was a pause before she explained they only have one suite with access... the mini suite. Didn't sound bad, so I booked it at the standard double price -- she did explain it was a little more usually but for disabled people who couldn't choose the standard room they would put me and Mr F (who's had a two day week this week, v. smug) in the mini suite.

Their arrival, of course, proves to be something of a disappointment:

As we rolled up to the hotel, the first thing immediately apparent was the Small Harmless Step in the website photograph was actually a Chunky Bastard Monster Step. Deep breath. Second was their prestigious 30 space car park was actually a tarmacked area rented from the hotel next door. We looked on in innocent surprise at the tiny narrow spaces, and a faint warning bell sounded in my head as we realised they'd forgotton to reserve us the two I'd been allocated for wide door access. In the end Mr F dropped me off outside the hotel and went to park, whilst I sat in full view of the reception desk, glaring at the monster step and a little sticker on the door saying "We Are Access Friendly".

I am never sure if such proud claims are cluelessness or some sort of legal ass-covering bluff. Maybe just wishful thinking. Anyway, Agent Fang is on yet another little journey, so stay tuned to her blog to hear how that goes.